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Tuesday, December 5, 2023

The Wizards is likely to be the funniest sports activities crew of all time

The Washington Wizards are good. No, not in the best way we historically worth sports activities groups for his or her athletic capability, teamwork, or great thing about the sport. The Wizards are extra like a Hallmark Christmas film or a low-budget horror movie — must-watch programming for his or her absurdity alone.

There may be nothing in regards to the 2023-24 Wizards that resembles a “crew” within the conventional sense. The franchise kicked off a rebuild after years of struggling as a veteran crew, buying and selling away Kristaps Porzingis and Bradley Beal, earlier than flipping Chris Paul in one other deal. We knew this crew wasn’t going to be nice — and that’s okay as a result of it’s about constructing for the longer term. What the Wizards are although is FUN, it doesn’t matter what the end result.

Each evening Washington places a unfastened conglomerate of people on the court docket who occur to be taking part in the identical sport, on the identical time, sporting the identical uniforms — it’s the closest factor to pickup basketball we’ve seen within the NBA.

That’s to not say the Wizards are egocentric, as a result of they’re actually not. Washington ranks fifth within the NBA in whole assists. What makes this crew particular is that they’re completely towards something in basketball that isn’t enjoyable. If it requires work, the Wizards ain’t doing it.

  • Capturing? FUN! The Wizards are 2nd within the NBA in area targets tried
  • Rebounding? Not enjoyable. They’re thirtieth in rebounding
  • Threes? FUN! They’re 14th in 3PA
  • Protection? Not enjoyable. Washington are final within the NBA in factors allowed
  • Tempo? FUN! They lead the NBA in possessions
  • Free throws? Not enjoyable. They’re twenty seventh in FT%

We frequently lionize groups who “do the little issues proper,” however Washington simply chooses to not do them in any respect. If it’s not flashy there’s no curiosity, which leads us to the nexus of all of it: Jordan Poole.

Poole is that this crew’s beating coronary heart of nonsensical insanity. If each Michael Jordan gave was value watching to see one thing spectacular, then each Poole recreation is value it for different causes.

What makes the Wizards endearing if their pure, unabashed confidence — even when there’s no actual foundation to it. Neither Kyle Kuzma nor Jordan Poole are knock-down shooters from the perimeter, however rattling it in the event that they aren’t going to mix to shoot 13.7 of them a recreation and miss 8 of them.

On Monday evening the Wizards confronted the Sixers, and truthfully guarding Joel Embiid was an excessive amount of work for them — so that they determined to not.

Do you may have any appreciation for the way tough it’s to set a scoring report as a member of the 76ers? This crew had WILT-FREAKING-CHAMBERLAIN ON IT and the Wizards nonetheless helped Embiid make historical past.

There’s this factor within the South the place individuals say “bless their coronary heart” as a dig. It’s not overtly imply, but it surely’s undoubtedly a well mannered manner of claiming somebody is dumb in a manner that asks for divine grace and persistence. In terms of the Wizards, bless their hearts. I like them a lot due to how absurd them are.

Will they win a variety of video games? No. Will they pull off a couple of shocking wins this season? Certain. This crew will not be dangerous in a manner that makes them putrid and unwatchable. They’re so dangerous it’s good. The Wizards are chaos in its purest, most unhinged kind — and it’s must-watch basketball.

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